I'm not as Sweet as I used to be

Oh hey blog. It’s been a while. Yep, it’s 2010 now. Oh so much has happened since we last met.

Became a single woman…again.
Switched jobs...again.
Moved…again.
Am moving in two weeks…again.
Fell in love…again.

Seeing a trend? Well, while you might think things look pretty darn similar. Spoiler alert. They are anything but that. I even decided I needed a new blog because when I read the posts I made in early 2009, I hardly recognize the voice they’re coming from. I’ve changed more in the last year, than I think I changed from age one to age twenty-four. I’m going to keep it G-rated (well, maybe PG-rated. Staying G-rated is damn hard…shit, see what I mean?), but I’d say my life has been anything BUT G-rated the last year. Get your head out of the gutter. Think of it like Steel Magnolias. Steel Magnolias is PG…because of “mild language and some crude humor.” Well, that’s my life right now. Welcome to my 2010: “Some mild language and crude humor.” Loving every minute of it, too.

A few of my favorite quotes:

Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!

There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.

I'm not as sweet as I used to be.

The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.

I love ya more than my luggage.

That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger.

Stay tuned.

Walk of Shame...

Yesterday: I drive from Dallas to Fort Worth every day for work. There was freezing rain in the DFW area. I can't get home. I don't have my necessities. I DO have a place to stay.

Today: I wake up and the sun is shining. Crap. I look online and ALL the schools are canceled. Immediately look outside and understand why. There's ice...everywhere. Fortunately for me we are working from home. If not, I would have been either wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday (fashion faux paux), or stylin' it up shacker style. I believe I'd go with the later. Add a belt...pull my hair in a side-ish messy bun...good to go. Could I pull it off like Miss Spears? Highly doubtful--no one is here to airbrush me.

Oh Elementary School

So, Haylie Duff finally got a job. Yeah, she was on Napoleon Dynamite, but she's got herself a sitcom now. Better yet, Hillary is on the show too. It's a family a family affair. Maybe they'll let their lovely mother on the show too. I'm sure it'll do great. I'm super happy for them!

Let me take you back a few years: It's the Saint Mary's Hall fifth grade play, Comedy of Errors. To call it a play is to underestimate it's extravagance. It was a production. Hand-made hoop skirts and costumes, professional sets and weeks of practice. Kids of really "important" people when to this school...so you can imagine the parental involvement. It was absurd.

The production accounted for the majority of a 5th-grader's spring semester. My class was performing Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors. I was trying out for the role of Luciana, one of the two main female characters (and a blonde...which made sense, seeing how I was one of only a handful of blondes in my class).

The week-long tryouts were torture. I rehearsed my lines over and over until they were perfect. My poor family probably still knows the leading lines...

My tryout was flawless. I tried not to get my hopes up, but I was so eager because this was my chance to be somebody. I was kind-of the odd kid out. I entered in 4th grade (when all cliques had already been established) so I only had a few "friends."

I was picturing myself in the beautiful pink hoop-skirt with gold detailing. I could hardly wait to hear the results of the tryout. So, what did I end up getting cast as? The narrator. What did I get to wear? A sheet. Why? Well, let me tell you why.

Mrs. Duff, yes, Haylie and Hillary's mother, threatened to sue the drama department when she found out I had been cast as Luciana. YES, I HAD BEEN CAST! But, nooooo. Her daughters were in acting classes and it would be a detriment to them if they weren't in lead roles. How could all their hard work go to the wayside. Bitch. So, of course the drama teacher folded and little miss sitcom got to wear my damn dress while I wore some sheet...terrible.

Why such dramatic action from the Duff's? A few theories:
1. They are crazy.
2. They were out to get me. In 4th grade Mrs. Duff was helping Haylie cheat on a test in the library and I, being the good girl that I was (and tattle tale) told the teacher. After the teacher told Mrs. Duff, Mrs. Duff/Mrs. Still Haunts My Dreams proceeds to shove me up against a wall by my neck and threaten to sue my family. People...I was in 4th grade and the woman THREW me against the wall by my NECK! And then used the "S" word, which apparently she throws around all the time.

All that to say. I wouldn't trade my life for theirs...ever. But, I do find it comical when I see them in the "news." I just laugh and think about how glad I am I'm not them. I'm going with theory 1. They are crazy.

But congrats on the new sitcom, ladies! I'm sure the ratings will shoot through the roof!! Who doesn't want to watch c-team actors attempt to be funny while portraying real-life drama?!

Chicken or Pig?

Our COO gave a great presentation today. Are you the Chicken or the Pig? and $100 rocks.

Chicken or Pig?
You're at a restaurant ordering breakfast. You get eggs, bacon, sausage, etc. You've got three elements. The Waitress who brings you the meal. The chicken who provides the eggs. And the pig who sacrifices for the meat.
Every company needs all three.

The waitress is very important. It's someone who works 9-5, gets the job done, does what it takes, but has other things to tend to outside of work. This person is steady in their career.
The chicken is essential. This person goes above and beyond. They work hard, put in overtime and add value. They are on-track for upward movement in the company.
The pig is committed. This person can't work enough on the account. They bring in new clients, add to current clients and are on the track to run the place or be a high-level exec.

Again, every company needs all three. The key is knowing which element (waitress, chicken or pig) you are and making sure you work with the others.

$100 Rock (Wingman, you'll love this)
We all have "rocks" throughout the day we need to deal with. Appointments, emails, IMs, kids, book club, client calls, etc. Instead of making a "priority" list where all items tend to fall in the #1 position, give your items a value. This allows for multiple items to be deemed important, but you're forced to make a decision on what really is most crucial.

First Day...

Here's how it went:

1. Alarm went off late for my workout, so I got a measly 30 minutes in.

2. I got dressed, got in my car and realized I had no gas (which is a predicament seeing how I was about to drive for 40 minutes).

3. I haul to the gas station closest to my apartment. This gas station is known for having hobos hanging around. They always ask for money and it really frustrates me. I could go on a tangent about how some people really need the money but most are just going to use it to buy booze or crack...but I'll refrain.

4. You know how the gas hose is made to fall one direction? For example, you pull up to the station. Get out. Swipe your card. Grab the handle and typicall turn to the right to put your gas in the car because the hose naturally falls that way. Well, I didn't want to turn to the right. I needed to throw some things away in my car and I didn't want to have to go over or under the hose. I forced it to the left.

5. Of course, as I start pumping the gas a hobo walks up. As I'm saying "No, No I don't have any money" the hose flies out of the hole (so many innaprpriate references here) and starts spraying all over my car, the ground, the hobo and me.

6. The hobo leaves. Don't think he'll ever come back. Maybe he'll tell his friends to stay away, too.

7. I STINK...of gasoline. Awesome.

8. I am paranoid about my stench, so as soon as I get to Fort Worth (high from the smell...I really think I could have been pulled over for
"intoxication") I pull over at another shady gas station to get some lotion. All they have is Johnson's Baby lotion.

8. So, on my first day...I smell like a baby smothered in gasoline. Bet they loved me.

9. Regardless, I'm so excited about my new job and had a fantastic first day!

Babyboomers Beware

So, I'm about to end my time at The Richards Group. Yes, the highly acclaimed Richards Group. "Why would you leave...it's a world-renowned firm!" Blah blah blah. I do love my designer bags and shoes, but the Prada of agencies just didn't do it for me.

I had the opportunity to work with celebrities, national media, public officials and branding super-stars. It has been an amazing chapter in my life--that I couldn't be more excited to close. That being said, every experience generates learnings. Below are mine:

1. Erica was, is and always will be my wingman.
2. What goes around comes around.
3. Babyboomers--you think Gen Yers are selfish, ignorant, lazy and unprofessional. We're just focused, innovative, efficient and stylish.

I'm out.

TCU #7

TCU is #7! Outstanding news...maybe John-o will have his National Championship in his lifetime.